Ayahs and snakes

Both of the FWB’s grannies were born in India and when they are together, they grow nostalgic. Last night they were discussing the nursery servants, whom they loved; one of them remembered that it had been her ayah’s job, at bedtime, to get into her bed first in case there were any poisonous snakes there.

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Commercialism

I dont know if I like this redesign. but Ben Hammersley told me, when we were watching otters in Florence, that he was paying his hosting bills with Google ads, so I thought I would try them. Also, putting ads on this site and seeing what happens is one way to discover whether it is commercial or not. This matters.

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apologies for stupidity

I haven’t posted much this week because I have been getting up too early. Instead of shambling up between 5.30 and 6.00 am and absorbing coffee while I think out loud, I have been getting up at the same time, putting on some clothes in roughtly the right order, walking to the newsagents to buy all the daily papers but the Star and then speed-read the lot of them. This is to write the Guardian’s online daily summary of the British press, which has to be finished by 9am: I was filling in three days for Ros Taylor, who was on holiday. It’s not exactly demanding work, but the effect of speed-reading all of the newspapers, and whipping up a coherent summary, is to destroy the power of reflection after the deadline has hit. It’s incredibly difficult to get it back. I can’t stop thinking like a newspaper. My attention span narrows to about ten minutes, and nothing seems urgent unless there’s a deadline right NOW.

It is also remarkable how quickly one stops noticing what utter crap most of the newspapers are, and how little they even pretend to supply news, rather than a sort of blurry timeless brightly-coloured sludge of stories about actresses, models and other people who don’t in any interesting sense, actually exist.

Posted in Blather | 4 Comments

Found poetry: lost short story

Two search requests, listed consecutively, from yesterday:

1: hearing protectors used in pubs
1: what is the difference between homosexuality and polygamy

“So there I was, in the pub with my hearing protectors on as usual, and I think I must have misheard your question, because I could have sworn you asked …”

One might argue that the mishearing hardly matters. In pub conversations that go on for long enough, the answer to all questions is “women”.

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mother love

My wife’s grandfather went through the battle of Jutland as a sixteen-year-old midshipman. Among the books that have come down to us from him was an anonymous work, published in 1916, From Dartmouth to the Dardanelles, the diary of another 16-year-old midshipman who hadsurvived the sinking of his ship off Galipoli in 1915. The book was edited and published by the midshipman’s mother, after he wrote it convalescing at home in 1915 . Her preface now appears a work of war-mongering horror, but if you are going to monger wars and defend at any cost an empire, this is the attitude that mothers will have to learn.

Let it be remembered that these boys have looked Death in the face — not once only, but many times;and that, like our soldiers in the trenches — who no longer say of their “pals” ” He is dead” but only ” He has gone west” — they have learned to see in the Great Deliverer not a horror, not an end, but a mighty and glorious Angel, setting on the brows of their comrades the crown of immortality ; and so when the call comes they, like Sir Richard Grenville of old, ” with a joyful spirit die.”

What would be unnatural is that their stupendous initiation could leave them only the careless children of a few months back.

The mobilisation of the Dartmouth Cadets came with a shock of rather horrified surprise to a certain section of the public, who could not imagine that boys so young could be of any practical utility in the grim business of War. There was, indeed, after the tragic loss of so many of them in the Cressy, the Aboukir, and the Hogue, an outburst of protest in Parliament and the Press. In the first shock of grief and dismay at the sacrifice of such young lives, it was perhaps not unnatural; but it argued a limited vision. Did those who agitated for these Cadets to be removed from the post of danger forget, or did they never realise, that on every battle-ship there is a large number of boys, sons of the working classes, whose service is indispensable ?

It seemed to me that if my son was too young to be exposed to such danger, the principle must apply equally to the son of my cook, or my butcher, or my gardener, whose boys were no less precious to them than mine was to me.

In the great band of Brothers who are fighting for their country and for the triumph of Right and Justice there can be no class distinction of values. Those who belong to the so-called “privileged classes” can lay claim only to the privilege of being leaders — first in the field and foremost at the post of danger. It is the only possible justification of their existence; and at the post of danger they have found their claim to priority hotly and gloriously contested by the splendid heroes of the rank and file.

I wonder, too, how many mothers of the chickenhawks — almost all of whom were born members of the American ruling class — would take this view of their sons’ obligations to the poor bastards from West Virginia and points south who are their servants’ children or cousins.

Of course, these families were moulded by a brutally militaristic education. My grandfather-in-law was, according to family history, the most-beaten midshipman of his year. The midshipman’s school day started like this:

At 6 o’clock, roused by the réveillé, we scurry to the bath-room, take the prescribed cold plunge, and then dress. Hot cocoa and ship’s biscuit are served in the mess-room and followed by an hour’s study. At 7.30 “fall in ” in the long corridor called the ” covered way,” which leads from the dormitories to the mess-room. All the other terms having gone in to breakfast, our particular batch of cadets is called to ” attention.” Then comes the order : ” Right turn ” — and helter-skelter, as fast as we can lay foot to the ground, we rush along the hundred yards of corridor to the mess-room door and fight our way through that narrow opening. Woe betide the unfortunate who falls in the mêlée! He will get trampled on by all behind, and when finally he is able to rise to his feet, dazed and bruised, after the rush has gone by, he will be assisted on his way by the unsympathetic toes of the cadet captain’s boots. Moral : Keep your footing !

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God and the Daily Mail

No time for a proper review, but I read A.N. Wilson’s novel about God and the Daily Mail on Thursday, while I was watching the spare computer reboot, reinstall, and fail to work properly. Three times. That’s another story, one for which the world may never be ready. Anyway, the Wilson book is superb. I can only see two flaws. The reviews, written by journalists, naturally suppose that it is “about” the Daily Mail and our trade generally. More of the book is in fact taken up with a story about being a Christian in a godless world. Civilians will suppose the passages about the Mail are a satire. That is also a mistake.

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Jeffrey Gray

I see that he died this week. He was one of the nicest and most interesting — at once intense and open-minded — scientists I have ever met.

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Shortlisted. Hot gerund damn!

I just saw in the Times that the worms have been shortlisted for the Aventis Science book prize. Francis Spufford got his book on the shortlist too. Can it be true, as he tells me, that you get £1000 just for being on the shortlist? There’s £10,000 for the winner, but that will be either Bill Bryson or Matt Ridley. [update]. Yes. It is true. This year, the money’s just gravy, but I have wanted to get on this shortlist ever since I started writing science books, and it is really something to have got there as well as winning the Templeton prize for religious journalism. It ought to have made selling the big science-and-god book easier, too.

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Greater than some of its parts

Richard Lewontin’s 1992 book The Doctrine of DNA is one that I reread every couple of years, discovering new things. The tone of weary omniscient scepticism grated on me for some years, but no longer does. After all, he was right to point out the limitations of the human genome project, and his rightness becomes more apparent every year.

There are two reasons for these limitations. The first is that the genome in itself does not predict very much about the organism. We need all sorts of extra-sequential information for that, as well as the rules by which that information is interpreted by the cell. You may, if you wish, see these rules as themselves contained in the genome. That doesn’t affect the argument. If you haven’t unpacked the rules, you can’t make sense of the information, and you certainly can’t discover what the rules are by studying the genome itself.

The second point is more general. Somewhere in Lewontin’s Marxism, there is a point about meaning, or about holism, which Dan Dennett and Sydney Brenner, seem to be approaching from different directions. Here’s Lewontin:

“It is not that the ‘whole is more than the sum of its parts’. It is that the properties of the parts cannot be understood except in their context in the whole.
Parts do not have individual properties in some isolated sense, but only in the context in which they are found. ‘The theory of human nature that searches for that nature in the products of genes in individuals and the limitations of individuals caused by those genes, or in the properties of an external world that are fixed and that cannot be altered except in a destructive way, misses the whole point.”

Compare this to Sydney Brenner, from my book, arguing against ’emergence’:

“The real thing I’m against now is this idea of emergent phenomena. Seems to me very mystical: they say that if you mix things that get to a certain level of complexity, then you get emergent properties. That’s to try to say the whole is more than the parts but, in fact, the whole is the sum of the parts and their interactions, that’s all; and our job is to find the interactions. Then we could compute the behaviour of the system.”

The crucial point here is the mapping between “properties” and “interactions”. Lewontin’s point, it seems to me, could be rephrased as saying that the properties of something are the sum of its interactions with the world. A property is a prediction of behaviour under certain circumstances. This kind of functional definition is pure Dennett. I did have a page reference and quote to back that up, but the book got tidied away … Get Lewontin from the library instead, and read that.

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Just for the record

I have never seriously proposed to a senior BBC apparatchik that we make a programme called “Infanticide: the case for common sense.”

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