There is something about the extreme boredom of a routine synod meeting which fires up the erotic imagination, and yesterday afternoon, as I sat in the press room trying to summon up the will to live, or at least to write a column, my reverie was interrupted by the voice of a pretty colleague asking in tones of very well controlled excitement, “Is it in yet?”
Other noises became clear. From the television at one end of the room a middle-aged woman was speaking in a tone common among synod delegates, very slowly and distinctly, like a primary school teacher whose charges are the product of millennia of inbreeding. Much later, I realised that someone with better technical skills could make the perfect mash-up, reversing the joke in _Jesus of Montreal_ where a bored housewife is giving phone sex while getting breakfast for the family, and redub the dialogue as if spoken in a synod debate on freehold. Yes! ….. Yes! …. That would be very exciting!
It’s a shame that there are only about five people in the world who will understand this joke, and three of them have dog collars.
fn1. She wanted to know whether her copy had been published.