There is something about the extreme boredom of a routine synod meeting which fires up the erotic imagination, and yesterday afternoon, as I sat in the press room trying to summon up the will to live, or at least to write a column, my reverie was interrupted by the voice of a pretty colleague asking in tones of very well controlled excitement, “Is it in yet?”1
Other noises became clear. From the television at one end of the room a middle-aged woman was speaking in a tone common among synod delegates, very slowly and distinctly, like a primary school teacher whose charges are the product of millennia of inbreeding. Much later, I realised that someone with better technical skills could make the perfect mash-up, reversing the joke in Jesus of Montreal where a bored housewife is giving phone sex while getting breakfast for the family, and redub the dialogue as if spoken in a synod debate on freehold. Yes! ….. Yes! …. That would be very exciting!
It’s a shame that there are only about five people in the world who will understand this joke, and three of them have dog collars.
1 She wanted to know whether her copy had been published.