Questions to Santa

dl. Q: I have here a 35mm film canister containing “Creosote salve”, which says it can cure _Självsprickor,_ excema, and weeping sores, as well as repelling mosquitoes and midges. Will it also cure colds?:A: Not entirely, but if you rub it on your upper lip, the smell is pleasant and the resemblance to central European dictators slight.
Q: What are _Självsprickor,_ anyway?:A: I’d guess chapped lips. Better informed opinions welcome.
Q: What are the ingedients of this wonderworking substance?:A: Creosote, Beeswax, Vegetable oil.
Q: An “Ajax live machine translation service”:http://oaks.gracebridge.org/translator/ is very clever, but “Jack Schofield says”:http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/technology/archives/2005/12/22/translation_on_the_fly.rdf it doesn’t work in IE. Does it work in anything else?:A: _Ich traf ein Laufstück von einem antiken Land sagte, das — zwei beträchtlich und trunkless Beine des Steins, Standplatz im Ödland._
Q: Did you steal that last link from John Naughton?:A: It was a presssent, yes it was. It’s mine.
Q: What is the funniest thing you have heard on the radio all year?:A: Andrew Marr’s [“history of Mornington Crescent”:http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?radio4/mornington_crescent] and especially the cricket commentary at around 22 minutes in.
Q: Is this _sophisticated_ humour?:A: Not unduly.

This entry was posted in nördig. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Questions to Santa

  1. Yes, Andrew Marr’s programme about Mornington Crescent is quite splendid. But I wonder if anybody from outside the UK is able to understand it at all, let alone find it funny. I suspect not.

  2. Folke says:

    why ask a cocacola santa when you have jultomten? He always used to come up our snowy lane on julafton, bang on the door and ask: finns det nàra snälla barn här, and we all hid under the table and only came out when he was sitting on a kitchen chair and started to hand out the presents (like my Airfix plane model that always was finished and stuck together before I went to bed even before the paint was dry….) God fortsättning och Gott Nytt Ar!! (jävla franska tangentbordet…)

  3. acb says:

    Tack, Folke.
    A well-informed Swedish person tells me that _Självsprickor_ are split callouses.

  4. Mrs Tilton says:

    Hmm; reenglishing with Google, I get:

    I met a piece of run of a antiken country said, — two considerably and trunkless legs of the stone, location in the wasteland.

    As good as Shelley if you ask me, and very nearly as good as Horace Smith.

Comments are closed.