I am so glad that England lost

some football game which was, at least according to Sky News, the most important story of the evening except for the scheduled riot afterwards,which seems to have been postponed by jealous Germans.

In general, I was obviously hoping that England get knocked out quickly because the country would have been absolutely unendurable had we won: a kind of reverse Diana effect.

In particular, to lose because Wayne Rooney got sent off was excellent. He is stupid, vicious thug, with no self-control at all, and thus, obviously, a role model for millions. He might have got away with kicking a prostrate opponent in the balls, and then shoving away the opposing team mate who complained. But when he saw he would be booked, he walked round to swear at the referee for this. Overpaid thugs get away with that kind of thing in almost every match I see. It made my heart sing to see him sent off for it. Makes him a real role model at last.

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4 Responses to I am so glad that England lost

  1. Drew says:

    I suspect you’re going to get a lot of very nasty comments and messages after that last Guardian piece, so let me start the ball rolling (no pun intended) by saying that I agree with you entirely. But then, I’m a Scotsman living in England. By my standards I’m particularly well-placed to appreciate the true nastiness of the nauseating waves of patriotism that come over English people in the wake of the World Cup. By theirs, I’m horribly biased by my own brand of teeth-gnashing Scottish nationalism: a charge I would strenuously deny of course. I like English people normally; some of my best friends are English; you get the idea.

  2. Beck Laxton says:

    Really, really liked the Worm’s Eye View you’ve just done on this, Andrew. Nothing intelligent to add: just wanted to shout hurrah for the voice of reason. Any ideas, though, on how we reclaim nationalism from the thugs? How can we start to be proud of the stuff that we ought to be proud of? Or do you feel that any kind of pride is misplaced?

  3. Alan Taws says:

    Swearing and thuggery on a football pitch? Well I never. If you ask me they shouldn’t let common working class types on the football pitch.

  4. steve dahlgren says:

    Andrew, this was really terrible analysis. It isn’t that English players aren’t any good at all. All of them are good players and Owen, Rooney, Gerrard, and Lampard are world class and would walk onto any national team, Brazil, Argentina, and Germany included. Portugal has some world class players too, but the difference is that English players don’t dive and cheat as part of their game planning. Ask Martin O’Neill how his experience with Portuguese teams has been? Can you not remember the unbelievable behavior from Joao Pinto and company 4 years ago in Japanorea? And what about their sly nonsense in the Euros in 2002. Or you simply have the memory of a gypsy moth. People who follow football, and please excuse yourself from this list obviously, have had to put up with their craven gamesmanship for quite a while now.

    Your assertion that Rooney deliberately stepped on Carvalho defies repeated views of the offense. Carvalho initiated the contact and committed the tackle from behind foul and Rooney tried to keep his footing, and stepped on Carvalho’s groin. I’m sure that was painful for the Portuguese, but look at how quickly Carvalho recovered. Within 3 minutes, he was back on the pitch and ran freely for the rest of the game. Any man who has taken one in the nuts before knows that you’re down for more than 3 minutes if you really take one. Carvalho made a meal of the contact and Cristiano Ronaldo provoked the referree into dismissing Rooney. And then Cristiano Ronaldo was caught winking at his Coach, a gesture that was unequivicobly “job done, Boss!” Cristiano Ronaldo reasonably can assume that English fans are going to be looking forward to his appearance at our grounds this year. Cynical behavior like his assumes any outrage and his rapid crying off that he wasn’t complicit in the Portuguese cheating is adding to his further disgrace.

    Rooney could have simply walked off the pitch without comment, but that’s not a reasonable expectation of him in this case. Instead of the initial foul, Cristiano Ronaldo’s behavior robbed him of further involvement in this World Cup. That’s a bitter pill to swallow and one that I don’t blame him for being ungratious about when forced to anyway.

    Stick to non-footballing analysis. To call you pub-league on this subject is charitable. Steve.

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