Truth in Advertising

Posted on November 4, 2004 by acb

Reaching for a squeegee flask of Original Source Tea Tree and Mint shower gel, I see it promises me “the most motivating shower experience you have ever had.” Where were these guys at school? The most motivating shower experience I have ever had was after afternoons on the rugger field, at prep school. There was a white tiled room with twelve showerheads round three walls. The first six varied from tepid to scalding. The last six were invariably freezing cold. A master watched to ensure that we ran through all of them. These motivated me so much I stuck to baths for the next thirty years.

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One Response to Truth in Advertising

  1. Andrew says:
    November 5, 2004 at 11:51 am

    You got off lucky, Andrew. If you were in a real school, you would have been buggered senseless by the time you’d crawled to the fourth showerhead. That’s the whole point of them.

    I was fortunate myself, because Up North we don’t have such rituals, and in any case, the state intervened before such a buggering could be adminstered – by abolishing such human rights travesties as public schools.

    But frankly, it’s not such a trauma for the Muslims or the Catholics, who are very relaxed about a bit of “pass me the soap”. The Catholics even created a special post in the organization for gay men to join, to avoid being beaten up in such showers. The “Priesthood”. I think that’s pretty enlightened and quite splendid.

    That said, the marketing men at “Original Source Tea Tree” do seem to be in need of a bit of excitement. However you must be thankful for a girlfriend or wife who wraps such simple messages as “Please smell better today. I love you” in such sophisticated and understated packaging? That’s a wonderful thing for us men, and we’re lucky when we find it. So don’t knock it.

    a

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