Shameful confession time. Here I am, a science writer of sorts, and I can never remember the difference between mitosis and meiosis. They seem to me like “left” and “right”. I know they are important labels referring to different things but I can never remember which refers to what.
Failing to distinguish left from right is an awful lot more frightening for my passengers. But it worries me less. I would rather die and kill a few innocent pedestrians than have the reviewer in Nature notice that I had forgotten which was the X and which the Y chromosome.
Stalactites and stalagmites have been easy ever since I realised that tits hang down. But I can’t think of any mnemonic for chromosomal excitements. Does anyone know one?
That reminds me of the rabbit biologist who got the wrong one identified with sexual reproduction and quite naturally killed himself through shame — he died of mixing mitosis.
Um. How about — Mitosis goes on in your mitts, but meio’s made with eggs?
I tried to come up with something clever about the Haploid Dynasty and two-headed eagles with half their chromosomes apiece, but I got confused over the role of the Spanish Netherlands half-way through and made a mess on the carpet.
R
(I am the only one here, aren’t I? Last night, I dreamed about a top-secret 1950s British stealth reconnaisance plane called an English Electric Sheep.)
That should be ‘mitosis goes on in my toes’, of course.
Apologies.
R
I think that “meio’s made with eggs” will do very nicely, thank you.
All I can ever think of is (to the tune of ‘There’s no business like show business’) “There’s My tosis and your osis”. But this, though memorable, doesn’t help at all to remember which is which.
No, he’s not the only one here – he asked me to read it too!
And here’s something I stole from Cix…
Spam poetry
Has anyone else ever noticed the bizarre beauty of some of the fake names
on spam mails? Below are just some of the names attached to spams I
received during June. It’s like a list of Babylon 5 supporting
characters.
No replies necessary, or your breasts will grow by a guaranteed 351%.
Ian S.
—————————————-
Lanai Annora
Elliott Ayoka
Asli Blithe
Hanh Brewster
Lynch Brighton
Gaylee Brown
Cirocco Buzz
Marcy Cade
Waggoner Cam
Zenia Claire
Rori Columbia
Rangle Dale
Lois Dambrosia
Lavonna Deselm
Miliani Dionysius
Funda Duda
Becky Fidelia
Keneth Galayda
Wasaki Garrick
Pierrette Heather
Cole Jereni
Darwin Khoury
Kineta Malaya
Delpha McCain
Bushido Medical
Thady Melinda
Renate Mignon
Cai Nardo
Amiri Nariko
Malo Nitza
Lucien Noma
Tiffany Nurse
Jewel Palti
Rusty Paulo
Boaz Phylicia
Billie Prosper
Nikki Rohan
Parlan Scarlett
Kipp Sumana
Foy Sydnee
Miya Tacita
Appollo Tailynn
Kacy Tassos
Maria Teacher
Cira Teal
Vida Tess
Rio Traelic-an
Joshua Yair
Fountain Zeroun