Snoop turns away in disgust, passing the blunt to his ‘spiritual advisor,’ Archbishop Don ‘Magic’ Juan. Juan, sipping from a bejeweled goblet and wearing a white suit with a dollar-bill pattern, is a former pimp who earned ordination. Decked out as Dolemite, he’s the rapper’s unofficial mascot. ‘Snoop is calmer now, baby,’ Juan shouts at me above the din, waving smoke from my eyes with a gold-encrusted hand. ‘Millions have seen it. They saw it at the Playboy mansion, when we visited there together. His family life has improved, and he’s reaching a spiritual level that he couldn’t reach before because his brain was clogged up with weed and alcohol. That’s why his career is taking off the way it is, why he’s touring with those — what’s their name? — Hot Chili Peppers, and with 50 Cent.’Maybe not quite like the Queen of England.
Between inhales, Juan is still talking. ‘Everybody’s always pullin’ at Snoop Dogg, but I try to do for him. I go get him things, like a fish fillet — I know he like that. Orange Crush — he like that, too. And because of my association with Snoop, I’m taking myself to new heights. Like — and you print this — I’m the first pimp William Morris ever signed!’
The quote comes from a story in Salon. I don’t know if non-subscribers can get it.