Hot, throbbing — and married

I was once asked by a distinguished Cambridge theologian whether it was permissible for the Archbishop of Canterbury to practise oral sex. In the context, this was meant to show that certain lines of enquiry should stop at the bedroom door — also that _Humanae Vitae_ didn’t understand sex.

So I suppose that the existence of “a site for Christian sex toys,”: to be used only within the confines of a monogamous heterosexual relationship, shouldn’t sprain my mind. But it does. Hurry there, and you will see what is probably the only site in the world selling [“vibrators,”:] rings to be worn [“in places Sauron”:] would never think of, and [“fishnet bodystockings”:] with the naughty bits tippexed out on the model, as well as [“Nicky Gumbel’s book”:] on why you should postpone sex until you are married.

But in all this, the thing that really makes my mind reel is the [“seasonal selection.”:] At the moment, the only martyr they seem to be commemorating is St Valentine, but the liturgical calendar is surely rich with suggestions for interesting bondage games. I must check back at Easter to see if the offer products for resurrection of the flesh.

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1 Response to Hot, throbbing — and married

  1. qB says:

    Sadly no bondage gear allowed (I discover after thorough investigation of the site purely in a spirit of enquiry). Also nothing “specifically for anal use”. I was wondering where that particular prohibition was set forth: “And thou shalt not plug thy neighbour’s ass” maybe…?

    I’m going to have to blog this purely to see how many googlenauts look for “christian sex toys”.

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